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10 Investment One-liners That Have Been Around Since the Invention of Money

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In the spirit of the day, here are the 10 funniest money jokes in the history of the world. (That little factoid has been corroborated by the International Association for the Preservation of Historical Financial Humor.) These one-liners are all modern day reincarnations of jokes that seem to have had dramatic counterparts throughout recorded history. Apparently money, and the way people react to it, never changes. (For those interested in the ancient Sumarian versions, just drop me a line.) (P.S. We will refrain from “Wall Street” being a generic punch line to every conceivable attempt at financial humor.) And (finally!) here are the jokes:
  1. My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it’s his!
  2. It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.
  3. Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
  4. If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
  5. “If you want to be a Millionaire, start with a billion dollars and launch a new airline.” -Richard Branson
  6. Banks will loan you money if you can prove you don’t need it.
  7. Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
  8. Bankers are people that help you with problems you would not have had without them.
  9. What’s the problem with banker jokes? Bankers don’t think they’re funny, normal people don’t think they’re jokes.
  10. Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word – goodbye.

Yes, financial humor can be great – as long as your retirement fund is not the punchline to the joke. Take a few minutes to think about why retirement funds so often become the object of ridicule, and figure out what you can do to try to avoid that situation. Meanwhile, here’s another article about companies using humor to get a message across. (The Broadscrapers make a surprise guest appearance!)

2018-09-05T13:42:12-04:00 March 18th, 2018|Humor|

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