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Humor

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10 Investment One-liners That Have Been Around Since the Invention of Money

In the spirit of the day, here are the 10 funniest money jokes in the history of the world. (That little factoid has been corroborated by the International Association for the Preservation of Historical Financial Humor.) These one-liners are all modern day reincarnations of jokes that seem to have had dramatic counterparts throughout recorded [...]

2018-09-05T13:42:12-05:00 March 18th, 2018|Humor|

The Online Trader (with apologies to Lewis Carrol)

‘Twas brillig, and the flicky leaders Did maxi and move in the browse: All downy were the shorteaters, And the bearees did grouse. “Beware the Hedgeefun, my son! The urge that rides, the trends that catch! Beware the Upward Ride, and shun The frumious Panickrash!” He took his wirless mouse in hand: Long time [...]

2018-08-22T07:41:56-05:00 May 23rd, 2012|Humor|

“The 401(k)” (with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe)

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, And like a quickly dying ember, my 401K hit the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow From Fox News surcease of sorrow, sorrow for my dwindling 4, For my once profitable retirement fund that began with number 4, [...]

2018-08-21T11:46:40-05:00 February 7th, 2012|Humor|

Custodial or Checkbook Control Plan: Which is Best for You? We Offer Both.